Worst Behaviour: Apparently You Can Use Slurs in Toronto Now

Courtesy Rob Ford's Twitter. 

Courtesy Rob Ford's Twitter. 

By Anupa Mistry

From the outside, Toronto seems like a utopia: the world’s greatest rapper calls this city home (that’s Drake, if you haven't been paying attention), gay couples are free to get married, our healthcare system is beleaguered but subsidized, and our film festival is a barometer for Oscars. Torontonians are a happy clash of cultures; almost half the population are native speakers of another languageVogue recently named our bustling Queen West the second hippest neighbourhood in the world. THE WORLD, YOU GUYS. VOGUE.

But in the tense run-up to the municipal election later this month, there’s been a lot of drama that exposes the conservative, xenophobic face of this city’s power elites. Two female candidates, both women of colour, have publicly come forward about incidents of basic bullying hate rhetoric directed at them online and IRL, some originating from self-professed members of the ill-defined, amorphous mob known as Ford Nation.

Ah yes, so Toronto also has this mayor, whom you’ve probably heard of— and definitely laughed at. Observers of all stripes, from newspaper columnists to sidewalk Sallys, attributed RoFo’s electoral success to a platform built on outer borough discontent on the narrative of a bougie, fast-gentrifying, pedestrian and cycle-friendly downtown core that stood in direct opposition to humble, hard-working, average people. Rob’s very suss M.O. was to paint the city’s core—Manhattanizing fast, in part because of pro-business types like himself—as a wealthy, artsy-fartsy enclave guzzling a disproportionate share of the City’s fiscal resources. It also skirted over his record of boorish racism and outright homophobia.

To Ford, courting poor and/or brown constituents meant offering fast fixes while consistently, singularly voting against social policies that could directly benefit those communities across the city. His drug scandal has disproportionately impacted the communities and families connected to his dealer transactions. He refuses to acknowledge Pride. When Rob’s team announced that his cancer diagnosis was the end to his appalling stewardship of this city, a lot of people breathed a sigh of relief; surely this would be the end of Ford for Toronto. But in stepped big brother Doug Ford, with his steely death stare and watchful bull terrier stance, to announce he’d be leveraging political sympathy and antipathy toward the Ford family to run in baby bro’s stead. The deplorable, beyond surreal saga of the tenure of Mayor Rob Ford just got even more unbelievable, and that means that coming municipal election on October 27th is as locally anticipated—and as crucial, on a macro-level—as Obama ’08.

But the impact of this election should be felt beyond just who gets voted mayor and who gets voted into ward councilor positions (analysis has shown that the incumbency rate is high, at 90%), because over the past two weeks things have gotten really ugly. Kristyn Wong-Tam, a queer Chinese-Canadian councillor for the bustling Toronto Centre-Rosedale ward, and something of a media sweetheart, recently received an anonymous letter (sent from a ‘Ford Nation supporter’) filled with a bunch of racist, sexist and homophobic crap. I don’t need to repeat what was said because it pretty much amounts to geospecific YouTube trolling—it’s the same unsophisticated, fear-filled wailing that dominates Internet comment sections.

Around the same time, mayoral candidate Olivia Chow, also Chinese-Canadian, began to experience and public acknowledge a rise in racist and sexist bullying, both online and IRL. A recent investigation by the Toronto Star found Chow’s team had removed almost 1,800 “racist, sexist and other offensive posts” since announcing her campaign in March. Just last week at a community debate, open mic time was sabotaged in order to publicly fling xenophobic garbage at Chow.

Chow and Wong-Tam aren’t the only women of colour currently campaigning for political office— young women like Munira Abukar, Idil Burale and Suzanne Naraine are also angling for councilor status—but they’re a significant minority amidst all of the dudely vibes of local governance. And Chow represents the first serious mayoral bid by a non-white candidate (period) since Carolann Wright-Parks ran in 1988.

Candidates of colour are consistently questioned on their capacity to lead or portrayed as pandering to their ethnic communities, when the reality is that everyone does it—even our Prime Minister. Add being a woman to that and you’ve erected a candidate specific hurdle that the straight white men running for office are able to gleefully glide past (because they make all the rules, duh).

The sexist, anti-ethnic, anti-diversity diversion that is plaguing Toronto’s recent municipal election isn’t just an overt warning sign that things are really fucking amiss at a very high level – it’s also a missed opportunity for political opponents to be leaders and rally around Wong-Tam and Chow and take an actual stand against the ideas that make this city great. No one is saying we have to vote in Chow or Wong-Tam or Burale or even Andray Domise, the phenomenal, Diddy-loving opponent facing off against the Ford family for Ward 2 councilor, but taking lateral strides to dissuade this kind of public harassment and discrimination wouldn’t just be setting a great example— it’d be upholding the Canadian Charter of Rights.

It’s important to note that this isn’t the first time a municipal election in Toronto was marred by hate: in 2010, mayoral candidate George Smitherman was the recipient of a ton of homophobic propaganda. The Ford bros. project of confusing hard-right stupidity for populism has stoked a fire in the rapidly diluting fabric of Old (Straight, White) Toronto, but directly attributing these ideas to some freak fringe of the city serves to distract from the fact that it’s this freak fringe that is in power. Despite the fact Toronto’s entire PR angle is that it’s this diverse utopia, mainstream institutions are pitifully indicative of that breadth. I mean, there’s a reason Drake had to go stateside to make it.

This piece was published in conjunction with The Hairpin, a place on the internet to read smart things, often by women. 

Toronto’s First Black Female (Almost) Mayor: An Interview with Carolann Wright-Parks

By Jaime Woo

In 1988, community organizer Carolann Wright-Parks became the first black woman to run for mayor of Toronto, against incumbent Art Eggleton. Born and raised in Beechville, Nova Scotia, the oldest indigenous black community in Canada, Wright-Parks had lived in Toronto for nearly a decade when she ran. She finished second in a field of nine with 24,479 votes, or 17.4 per cent. (Eggleton won with 64.9 per cent of the vote.) Wright-Parks was always realistic about the purpose of the campaign—to drive awareness rather than to win—but she nonetheless made history.

Her campaign was part of a string of elections that saw women land in second place, before the six years between 1991 and 1997 that Toronto was led by June Rowlands and Barbara Hall.

Carolann Wright-Parks

She was also the first and last visible contender of colour until Olivia Chow, a unfathomable quarter of a century later. Drawing direct comparisons is unhelpful: Chow is a career politician, Wright-Parks was not; Chow is running post-amalgamation, Wright-Parks faced only old town; and Wright-Parks challenged an incumbent expected to win, unlike the three-ring Ford circus. Yet, in her own words, Wright-Parks calls it "very shocking" that there have been few viable candidates of colour since her run.

In 1994, Wright-Parks returned to Halifax. She is now the Director of Community Economic Development and Strategic Engagement at the Greater Halifax Partnership. The following excerpts are from an interview done with Wright-Parks at the end of August.

 It’s not meant as direct commentary on the current election. Instead, it is an occasion to look at our city’s past, and reflect on how some things have stayed the same.

ON ANNOUNCING HER RUN

“I was not expecting to run. I'm an organizer, not usually a frontperson. It was purely the community who said, ‘Look, we'd appreciate if you did this because it would highlight the issues that we work so hard from day to day. It would give a face to the issues of anti-poverty.' I had no political experience at that time (but now I understand that that doesn't matter!) and was not politically sophisticated at all, but I knew what the agenda was.

“When I first announced, there was a pause because I don't think a black woman had ever ran before. A black man had been in city council in the 1800's at some point a long time ago (William Peyton Hubbard, a City of Toronto Alderman from 1894 to 1914) but I think I was the first black woman who had ever run, period. So, there was some pause, like 'is it serious?'

ON CANDIDATES FROM MARGINALIZED COMMUNITIES

“In politics you realize how candidates get beaten up even in the running. Your business is all out there, and it is what it is. For marginalized communities, when all your business is out there, it's very hard to concentrate on what you're trying to do when people are questioning your lifestyle.

“Like with black candidates: ‘They're only gonna represent black people.’ I got that a lot. That we're always corrupt and the racism around that. When volunteers were canvassing for me, people would go, "Oh, I'm not voting for her. She's only going to represent black people." My sisters, who went canvassing, heard that and were completely shocked. You get marginalized about who you're going to represent.

“I'd say, ‘Of course I am, but that's not going to stop me from representing you. This is why I'm running. I'm supposed to bring another dimension to the position of office in terms of understanding who I represent—it's a value-add.’

“If you're a black person, people make the mistake of saying, ‘I'm not here to represent black people. I represent everybody.’ But you are representing your community. I was representing a segment of my community. That's the reality of it. I never apologized for that.

ON THE MAIN ISSUES DURING HER CAMPAIGN

“During that period there was a lot of police violence against young black men. The issue of race in Toronto was extremely volatile, particularly about policing. And, if you were a poor single mother in the system, and God forbid you were black, people thought it was okay to treat you a particular way. We had to not only address this in the campaign in a practical way, but get it on the Mayor's agenda.

“Young people growing up in Regent Park and St. Lawrence and surrounding areas in the city did not vote. They did not care and were not interested because they felt they were not cared about either. I think people were at that particular time fed up with the dismissiveness around low-income communities and homelessness: things that were just not on the Mayor's agenda at that time. We wanted to let people know their voice counted. It counted on election night.

“The voter turnout was excellent during that campaign because we spent time in communities doing things that were not traditionally done in civic campaigns. I never really thought about [winning] at that time to be perfectly honest with you. We were so focused on the campaign issues.”

ON HOW TO HANDLE DISCUSSIONS OF RACE

“The way that we had been approaching it, people become really defensive and it shuts down the whole conversation. People want to protect what they have, and it becomes me-versus-you, us-versus-them type of scenario. I can paint a picture for you all day in terms of how racism affects my life but I want it to change so how do I create that opportunity for you to do that self-examination and to realize the impact of that? It flips the conversation a bit.

“How you begin is not trying to change their worldview, but to ask the proper questions so that people begin to examine it for themselves, and to challenge themselves around how they see the world and why particular worldviews hold other people hostage.

“When you tell me that you don't see colour, that is not a sophisticated or accurate analysis of the situation because you are seeing colour. You decided by saying that it doesn't matter—you decided that, but it does matter.

“How did you derive that? What do you believe? Questioning beliefs and values: how did you arrive here so that you believe this is true?”

To read the whole interview, go here.

Ontario Oreo: Court the Ethnic Vote, Keep the Centre White

How do you court the approval of white voters while trying to make everyone else feel included? In Ontario, you do it very carefully. Our province is home to a large percentage of Canada’s visible minority population, and has received the biggest share of immigrants to Canada for the last 10 years and beyond. But you wouldn’t know it by following our political campaigns.

Read More

David Mamet's Race at Canadian Stage

This is a Toronto blog, and here's my Toronto take on Race: America is weird. After seeing last night's premiere of David Mamet's play (starring, yes, Jason Priestley), my main thought was that we really need to do a Canada vs. USA issue of the Ethnic Aisle, and examine how very differently the two countries experience race and ethnicity

Read More

Don't Name Your Sports Teams After Aboriginals. Just Don't.

Today on Twitter, the Ottawa Citizen’s Dan Gardner asked why sports teams named after aboriginal tribes/artifacts are problematic when the Minnesota Vikings et al. are not. I’ve been thinking about this ever since the Atlanta Braves announced the return of its “Screaming Savage” logo in December, so here's my answer.

The only team that I could think of that’s named after a symbol of privilege is the Ottawa Senators. So first off, why don’t we name teams after actual symbols of power, rather than just weird caricatures of power? The Toronto F.C. Derivatives! The Georgian Bay Docks! It's worth thinking about why some groups are allowed to be caricatured (like the Senate, am I right?) and some are not.

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The Shipment: On now at Harbourfront

If you’re looking for a soft and fuzzy feel good play to ease you into a discussion of racism, then Korean-American playwright Young Jean Lee’s The Shipment isn't for you. While “dissect[ing] what it means to be [B]lack in America,” Lee pulls no punches, spares no feelings and handles no one with kid gloves.

Read More

Ethnic! Xmas! Drama! 2011 Edition

  • In Friday's Globe and Mail, Damage Control columnist David Eddie fielded a question from a Chinese dude with a white fianceé. Her parents keep giving him "themed" Christmas gifts - a rice cooker, a Jackie Chan box set - which makes him feel uncomfortable. His fiancée thinks he should suck it up and so, basically, did Eddie. Unsurprisingly, not everyone agreed.
  • First up: The ethnics are ON IT.
  • My FAVOURITE G&M "Damage Control" column: "My white in-laws keep giving me 'Chinese' gifts" theglobeandmail.com/life/h... attn: @ethnicaisle
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 10:47:57 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • "Last year, my fiancée's family gave me a rice cooker. I'm Chinese-Canadian. They're Caucasian." bit.ly/rQDQ1W (ht @annhui @DakGlobe)
  • Chantal Braganza
  • December 23, 2011 9:03:49 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • good intentions are overrated. that column is so fucked up. that writer should not be giving advice.
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 10:58:22 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • that G&M column is basically Forbes-lite in the way it completely ignores the reality of being not-white
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 10:59:53 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • it enraged me to read the fiancee saying "get over it." all i could think was "what a horrible relationship"
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 11:02:36 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • WHY IS THE PICTURE ON THE COLUMN A BOWL OF RICE? @dakglobe @ghostfaceknitta
  • anupa
  • December 23, 2011 11:08:56 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • Should it be two old white folks standing in the bg, out of focus, with Chinese man in front with arms crossed?
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 11:12:58 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @_anupa @dakglobe I cringed when I saw that too. Also, if I were her folks I would've assumed dude already had a rice cooker. I mean, c'mon.
  • Kalpna Patel
  • December 23, 2011 11:13:45 AM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • Canice Leung breaks it down:
  • re: "in-laws give asian dude rice cooker/jackie chan dvds" bit.ly/scUXXH ... 1. being cute-clueless is not a defence for being racist
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:24:04 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • 2. i would be BUMMED if i was marrying into a family, knew them for (probably) years, and still the only thing they saw was my ethnicity.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:24:39 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • 3. i would really love a rice cooker, but actually. but that's because i love cooking, not because i'm chinese.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:26:22 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • 4. only a white dude advice columnist would defend that. people can't be forgiven for doing bad things just cause they had good intentions.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:27:54 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • 5. i am normally a fan of david eddie's writing, which is why this particular piece of advice is even more disappointing.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:28:54 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • Fight! Fight! Fight!
  • @canice Excuse me? "Only a white dude advice columnist would defend that". ONLY?! Look, stupidity comes in ALL colours, shapes and sizes.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:29:41 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen rephrasing: there are some positions only people of certain privilege/class/race/ethnicity would hold and this is one of them.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:35:28 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen we're not talking inclusively about 'all stupid things stupid people say' ... this is about giving a rice cooker to an asian.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:36:40 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @canice There IS a different/double standard for what YOU (a visible minority) can say, rather than what I (a white man) can say. Deny it?
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:39:42 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen plenty of minorities are racist/classist against others, i'll happily point those out if such situations arise in nat'l paper.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:41:27 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen then again, i can't think of a minority/woman/etc advice columnist at a canadian newspaper, so it's all hypothetical, innit?
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:43:03 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @canice I read the piece in the @globeandmail ... and I know what you're saying. I just ... question the thinly-veiled racism. That's all.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:43:10 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen it's NOT thinly veiled racism. i'm outright positing that a non-white columnist would NOT condone such gift-giving.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:46:46 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @canice Good for them. I just didn't appreciate the "only a white dude" comment. Shows me way more than I need to see how you TRULY view us.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:49:22 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen in general, the 'minorities get free pass' complaint is imagined. minorities SEE racism because we LIVE the experience, OK?
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 1:49:20 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @canice I live it too. Don't kid yourself. Racism is NOT exclusive to visible minorities. I "SEE" it too, OK? I "LIVE" the experience too.
  • Jayson McEwen
  • December 23, 2011 1:51:47 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @JaysonMcEwen oh, you got me. i hate white people — because i suggested a white person might not understand an asian man's POV.
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 2:03:36 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • A word from the Globe:
  • @canice I'm Dave's editor. You may disagree with the advice (god knows I don't always agree w/ DE), but it did have yellow eyes on it.
  • Kevin Siu
  • December 23, 2011 2:05:23 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @canice A colleague pointed out that the fiancee should be working the gears behind the scenes with the parents. I also agree with that
  • Kevin Siu
  • December 23, 2011 2:57:41 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • @kevinsiu in fairness, i get that social decorum isn't always about being strident anti-oppression police (err unless you're me, apparently)
  • Canice Leung
  • December 23, 2011 2:16:11 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • On another corner of Twitter:
  • As a white person I was horrified at David Eddie's advice. Way past time for us to challenge everyday racism.
  • Sara Mayo
  • December 23, 2011 12:58:40 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • If you "put up with it" now, imagine 10 yrs into the marriage! Better to explain why gifts offend.
  • Louisa Taylor
  • December 23, 2011 2:00:28 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • I wonder about the context of the situation, though. I'm from Wpg and grew up hearing many people (cont)
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:09:23 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • ask Qs that were quite well-intentioned...but could seem goofy (cont)
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:10:38 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • or racist. But it was an attempt learn about my ethnicity. I was their kid's first "ethnic" friend.
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:11:48 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • But advice was still bad. Take this as opp to talk to in-laws a/b why gifts are inappropriate.
  • Dakshana
  • December 23, 2011 2:13:26 PM EST
  • ReplyRetweet
  • And that's your ethnic Christmas drama for 2011. Enjoy the holiday, and see you all next year.
  • Ethnichat: DNA Free Flow

    Last Friday, we hosted a Twitter chat on interracial and intercultural dating to kickoff this week's posts. Here are some of the highlights...thanks very much to everyone who participated. Keep reading and commenting!

    Q1: What are your feelings on people who adamantly date only within their own race or culture? #ethnichat Go!
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    Well, for one, not all of us have that luxury. #ethnichat
    alexdao
    October 14, 2011
    Up or down it's their decision to make for themselves. It's also potentially their loss if soulmate is heterogeneous #ethnichat
    accozzaglia
    October 14, 2011
     When you're mixed, every relationship is an interracial one. #ethnichat
    reneeswilliams
    October 14, 2011
    Q2: have you ever been exoticized by a partner/date, how did you know, and how did you feel?
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    Too much focus on ethnic background, had one guy literally say "that's hot" when he found out my mix. Yuck. #ethnichat
    alexdao
    October 14, 2011
    Yes, for my body shape. Was told this after we started dating. Felt like an object. It's why relationship ended. #ethnichat
    accozzaglia
    October 14, 2011
    She said: "I feel so worldly". I wasn't impressed. #ethnichat
    slowdecade
    October 14, 2011
    Got told I am interesting because I am Indian. Ick. My ethnicity is a part of my identity, not an accessory. #ethnicchat
    bthanki
    October 14, 2011
    We were making out. Ze took off my glasses and complimented me: "You look less Asian." Really.
    neville_park
    October 14, 2011

    I find it tiring when they get disappointed when I do something that doesn't jive with their perception of my racial identity. #ethnichat
    reneeswilliams
    October 14, 2011
    white guys i've dated have pretty much been not into white girls, not as an ideology tho. just realizing that now. #ethnichat
    _anupa
    October 14, 2011
    RT @JaeFiasco: Ex was white and his friend said (in my presence) GUESS WHAT I FUCKED A BLACK CHICK! It's a prize to them
    _anupa
    October 14, 2011
    RT @jooksing as an asian ciswoman, i feel exoticized all the damn time. it's uncomfortable &telling. tho partners dating history says most.
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    RT @jooksing the q for me is: what feels worse: dating some1 who has been with POC or dating some1 who hasn't been w ANY POC. both loaded
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    Yes! There's always that question of which is worse. Non-POC w/ history of dating only POCs - red flag. #ethnichat
    alexdao
    October 14, 2011
    Don't think I'd mind someone who hadn't dated a POC before, if they weren't defensive when there were things to be discussed. #ethnichat
    balkissoon
    October 14, 2011
     Could the race/mix dating preference be more of a physical thing rather than background? #ethnichat
    NoellySam
    October 14, 2011
    Ah yes, the age old question - what's wrong with just having a physical preference? It's so loaded. #ethnichat
    alexdao
    October 14, 2011
    I think you can prefer certain characteristics but then you have to ask yourself why #ethnicchat
    judeinlondon
    October 14, 2011
    RT @jooksing i think POCs who predominantly date outside their race should also try to deconstruct their internalized racism too #ethnichat
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    But worth looking into, pure bodily response or years of racial brainwashing, yes it's complex. #ethnichat
    NoellySam
    October 14, 2011
    I agree, POC do need to think abt internalized racism & dating. Dumb video: Why Brown Girls Like White Guys http://bit.ly/qG0cBM #ethnichat
    balkissoon
    October 14, 2011
    At the base of the debate, it shouldn't focus just on those who date PoCs but choices of the PoCs themselves.
    RudyKatoch
    October 14, 2011
     I don't think dating outside ur race has anything to do w/ internalized racism. We live in a global city. It happens.
    KimberlyAsal
    October 14, 2011
    Like, you just happen to prefer a certain race? I don't think it's ever that simple. #ethnichat
    tianareid
    October 14, 2011
    Ok, Q3: how have your family/friends reacted to your interracial/intercultural partners? #ethnichat
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    Positively. They're more concerned about mutual values and whether he treats me well.
    reneeswilliams
    October 14, 2011
    My grandmother, who was biracial, did tell me she didn't want me dating a black man.
    reneeswilliams
    October 14, 2011
    They haven't. And ppl always ask "so how was THAT like?" They seem to be anticipating stories of lashings #ethnichat
    RafayAgha
    October 14, 2011
    It's strange. We're beginning to see a North America where the basic assumption is one of mixed racial heritage.
    emilymkeeler
    October 14, 2011
    Her family: Pleased to meet you. My family: MISSION ABORT. My friends: Cool story bro #ethnichat
    slowdecade
    October 14, 2011
    My parents were an interracial couple, but my dad still holds racial prejudices on who his kids should date. #ethnichat
    tianareid
    October 14, 2011
     my parents were surprised he was a Brown guy & not East Asian. (They'd have been more surprised if he was Persian.) #ethnichat
    shimo
    October 14, 2011
    @_anupa re: whitebros. i feel weird, but if you're happy that's cool ma. unless u cute. then u need to be with me. #ethnichat
    saeidedward
    October 14, 2011
    My parents know and understand it's high unlikely I'll marry someone who isn't Chinese, but have also stated "preferences". :P
    karenkho
    October 14, 2011
    my parents accepted my white ex but they still managed to show some close-mindedness. I was more nervous of his family though
    judeinlondon
    October 14, 2011
    I think my folks were less surprised I dated white girls than the fact I dated girls at all #ethnichat
    zombivish
    October 14, 2011
    Q4: Have strangers commented on your relationship, and if yes, how have you dealt with it? #ethnichat
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
     Yes, and I've/we've usually responded, "Uhm, how is this of any concern to you?" Their reaction is all butthurt. #ethnichat
    accozzaglia
    October 14, 2011
    Here lies the real debate. There is side-eyeing from some PoCs at interracial couples of their ethnicity @ethnicaisle
    RudyKatoch
    October 14, 2011
    old indian men death-staring me and my half-black/half-chinese ex in the mall. #ethnichat
    _anupa
    October 14, 2011
    As a teen, dating interracially had me labelled a "coconut" by other POC. I said nothing back then which I regret #ethnichat
    judeinlondon
    October 14, 2011
    Usually they comment on how cute the babies will be. #ethnichat
    alexdao
    October 14, 2011
    Not all mixed race babies are cute. I'm thinking of some of my cousins. #ethnichat
    reneeswilliams
    October 14, 2011
    @alexdao HA that is one of @reneeswilliams pet peeves. We want to do a post on the blog "Ugly Mixed Race Babies." Hahaha. #ethnichat
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    I'm not gonna lie, I was a really cute mixed baby. #ethnichat
    tianareid
    October 14, 2011
    Side-eye from random strangers (white and black) is fairly common. I've gotten better at ignoring it, but still. #ethnicchat
    AllyssiaAlleyne
    October 14, 2011
    Recently asked: What does your husband look like? Me: He's gorgeous. Silence. Really she meant: "What colour?" Naive am I.
    jacquiefrancis
    October 14, 2011
    Sad. Within the community, criticism & hostility to a PoC dating outside their race is more pointed. #ethnichat
    RudyKatoch
    October 14, 2011
    why do black men act like my boyfriend isn't there? Does being white make him invisible?
    TDeeRock
    October 14, 2011
    #ethnichat RT @wesleycase: My friends are 99% white: they either wear (interracial dating) as badge of pride or it makes them uneasy
    _anupa
    October 14, 2011
    Oh, when I was in Trinidad with my white ex, someone actually HISSED at us on the street in Port of Spain. #ethnichat
    balkissoon
    October 14, 2011
    Q for @chantalbraganza & other mixies: Did your parents say if they faced prejudice within your extended fam for being together? #ethnichat
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    I've def seen my parents get some side-eye. Took one neighbour 20 yrs (!) to figure out they were married.
    kelkord
    October 14, 2011
    Like, it was so incomprehensible to this guy that these two people could be a couple #ethnichat
    kelkord
    October 14, 2011
    Eep. Kinda. Not so much for race, but 'cause one fam had established themselves in Canada for a while by that point. #ethnichat
    chantalbraganza
    October 14, 2011
    @ethnicaisle love to hear all this conversation: I came from mixed parents, now divorced. Never really talked about this. #ethnichat
    the2scoops
    October 14, 2011
    Ok, last q, from @judeinlondon: Do you really think social attitudes towards interracial dating have changed that much? #ethnichat
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011
    I personally feel less weird walking around than I used to, but that may just be personal confidence! #ethnichat
    balkissoon
    October 14, 2011
    I also think, in Toronto, the constant influx of newcomers might also mean influx of ppl unaccustomed to mixing #ethnichat
    balkissoon
    October 14, 2011
    Tough question. I'm going to say, not as much as society likes to think it has. #ethnichat
    reneeswilliams
    October 14, 2011
    Definitely. It's not ideal yet, but changing attitudes towards race have changed attitudes about i.r. dating too. #ethnicchat
    AllyssiaAlleyne
    October 14, 2011
    compared to when? I think compared to 50 years ago, no doubt. 10 yrs... enh @ethnichat
    simyau
    October 14, 2011
    Not sure I want to live in a world where the intricacies of IR dating (& thus my own difference) are all smoothed over
    ethnicaisle
    October 14, 2011